In the Bedroom after the War

September 30, 2009
The Dilemma of loving what you hate & hating what you love
Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 4:49 PM

Today, a few hours ago, my officer (he is 20yrs old) came into my office. It is countless how many times he came over to check on us. However this time it was pretty different.

I was the only one around. It's probably abt 2pm & I'd just got back from lunch & wasting some time on facebook & fifa 07. He probably would have said HI and left but this time he sat right beside.

He laughed as I missed my shots. But soon, he started sharing. He told me how he hated christianity. His GF of 2yrs dumped him in the name of Christ. He was lost, then he was sad, he was destroyed then now he is angry.

He asked me a lot of questions & he sincerely wanted to understand. I think he did. He was v attentive as I shared what I thought.

He was in love, but now the Love took it all away.

It was painful. It was stupid.
I listened to him & I felt for him.

I wished he knew Jesus in the way we know Him.
I love Jesus.
But like him & more today, I hate christianity.
Christianity took the Love away. The Love which is Jesus Christ.

For a lack of wisdom? Or traditional...
Whatever he was told, he was sad.
And so am I. I am sad that he is sad.

Today, we may have lost 1 great guy to hell forever.
Christians need to have convictions, strong. I have them. Unshaken.
But christians need to make up their mind, have a heart that beats to the thoughts of the other 6 Billion people around us.

There is always a God way.

Pictures in my mind
Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 2:21 AM

Cathedrals, crucifixes, candles, stained-glass & the ambiance of significance.

Never-ending road & the horizon.

Smiles of faces, families, couples, new born.

The city, city lights, outlining the night sky, reflections on water & the buzz.

House, rustic, glass, space & the thought of comfort.

Crowds, masses, noises, screams, shouts and soaring hands.

Planes, terminals, cars, offices & sibling strangers.

Old age, grey hair, farm, the sunset & the silhouette of the person you love

Jesus, blinding lights, warm glowing edges, soft surfaces & the majestic white throne.

Civilian, sneakers, t-shirt, jeans & the collection of my pink IC.

HAHAHA

September 27, 2009
Filling it up
Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 10:11 PM

It's been a long time since i typed stuff into this space.
I'm just filling up now.

1) We just had an amazing weekend with Pastor Jamaal, Rita & the C3 Team from NY.
They are so talented, funny & down to earth. I look at some of them & they are unbelievably down to earth.

In the Asian culture, especially Singapore. "Face" and reputation is at the top of the list of priorities. C3 came from NY & i tell you, the thing about westerners is that they are more in your face and secure.

There are some people who hide behind titles and reputations.
There are those that stand before you with their one true character.
They were the latter.

But most of all, i think Pastor How & Pastor Lia are amazing.
If you don't think hoGc is special, then you are spiritually blind and deaf. HAHA
Our future is amazing! ((:

2) Then i'm back in camp now. Have you ever have those times you have some thoughts and you need to go and tell God? I do that a lot, right now i do. Talk to your friends, you think that's good, try talking to God. Right now, let me go talk to God.

So...
1) Character first - I need to go meditate on my sermon notes
2) We have a great destiny
3) Talk to God

3) I wished i had time to go hang out and lead a cg personally all over again.
Sometimes i look at the zone f people i lead, and i feel a shade of excitement but also a shade of suppression. I feel like a stretched rubberband ready to go. I have 1 more year. Give me my life back...

If you are someone who has the afternoon to yourself, be a leader, love people, serve people. If you are a leader who has the afternoon to yourself, treasure it.
If you don't, don't let me know, if not in all my power and strength i will come for you. HAHAHA

I want to lead a CG all over again. Not any other CG. But a F ZONE CG.

4) I really like Dario & Ariel Bernard. It's not just Ariel's abilities. It's his stability. He inspires me in 1 particular area. He takes a lot pride in what he does and he is very secure in his abilities to do what he does. There is a lot of stability. No wonder he is a Bernard. HAHAHA

People tell me that creative people are generally insecure. No! Ariel proves you wrong. Everyone needs affirmation. It is just that in the area of arts, because of the nature of what arts is, we cannot see results, so we don't know how whether we are progressing. The engineers, more mind-ly mechanic people ain't make them secure. Creative doesn't make you not logical. What they do is reflected in results obvious. So in that sense, they feel affirmed and that makes us think that are more secure than creative people.
We all need affirmation, i just think arty people need more because of the nature of what they do. Why would scientist need affirmation? You come out with so theory that proves to be correct, mind shuttling, it is new, that alone is affirmation.

Dario is amazing! He's like the Yassy or Fifi of our church. He's in-charge of all the trainings, doctrines. The educating, the teaching. The DNA. In camp we call that the doctrine & training section.

Some of my friends, sports people have this arrogance about them. That is not good.
I am not endorsing arrogance. I am endorsing security.

Gdnight

September 19, 2009
Madonna's Tribute to Michael Jackson
Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 12:25 AM

Woah...

It can only take one superstar to talk like that about another superstar.

It takes one superstar to understand another.

September 18, 2009
Now you know
Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 2:01 AM

Now you know why nobody watches Asian Football or even cares about it.
Even if you're not a soccer fan, you know it is epic.

Watch this below, it tells you a lot about soccer in our region.
The referee is an epic failure.
All the pitch's a stage & all the players merely watchers
Poor thing... This is like Fifa 2009.

Oh, we had our World Cup project right? Was it 2010?
NO WAY....

September 8, 2009
10 things praiseworthy
Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 3:15 AM

1. Lately i have been on my own a lot & those times are good, i enjoy them, because i get to think about progress, both personally & for the zones. Then last weekend Pastor Lia preached about fruitfulness & it was stupendous. It just broaden my mind once again. I got me believing for rapid, exponential growth. Just felt my faith stretching and growing. Growth is coming.

2. 15th September should come soon. It'll be my 1st year in army & the count down is worth the excitement for my personally because i can't wait to get out of army. I want to study, i want to serve God full force, i want to do so many things that you can't imagine. Just been thinking a lot about the God's seasons & timings. It has kept me motivated and driven.

3. Today someone asked me what are my dreams after i ORD. I could tell them right up. Off the chest, as simple as the blink of an eye. Thank God it hasn't change... Hahhs just want to be a rockstar. Just kidding.

4. Talking to some of my leaders lately really got me thinking. These guys are amazing. It was a short PME evaluation but we spoke and went on and went. They are very interesting. Once a while i take a peek and it's really interesting and funny. Tay Weiling is very funny.

5. Marcus Tan's team hit 6 last weekend. He has been telling me 3 to 4 wks back that he will hit 6. He has been talking about it everyday. Even going around claiming that others were his sheep jokingly. For one thing he said Wan Ting was his sheep. He has been dreaming, speaking & thinking it & he has arrived.

Today he was with me at newton circus & we had a great time. He is an amazing guy. We have a Nicholas & Jordan. Now it is time for a difference species & equally amazing called Leonas & Marcus. I look back for this entire month, and this 2 has been with me so much. I just realized. They think they learn a lot being with me, nono, i feel so inspired and charged up having them around. They feel like Nicholas & Jordan being around last time.

Glad that N & J are doing well leading people. So proud of them.
Leona is the director of zone f skit weekly.
Marcus is loving people in the background.
NJLM are amazing.

6. Spoke to Ang Wei Jie today. We've got a lot to continue on but it is good. He is an amazing leader. Really good if you know him personally.

7. Smsing some of the zone f members lately. Amazed at their heart for Jesus. Young and amazing. Sometimes they struggle with the smallest thing but it is so sweet seeing them fighting that thing. I remember i was younger and those "small" things were giants. We are doing an important work in zone f.

8. Follow up with Bernard. My friend, my member. He is amazing. I did follow up halfway and looked over the other side & say my dad having a meeting with his friend.
After follow up, i got him to bring my follow up notes home while i go to Newton.

9. My siblings! Elgin is being Elgin and that is very exciting. I tried to show him some magic trick i learnt from Darren but he was too shy and wary that i will con him so he acted to ignore me. Brenda is sick, we went to the clinic together this morning. She had an x-ray and thank God there was nothing serious. She's on 8weeks supply of glucosamine. I smsed Justin today to 'jio' him out for cycling outing with F23 tomorrow, he was pretty excited but then later he told me he needed to go back to school. He's pretty sweet too, thinking will it be expensive for me. And it's quite funny, i smsed him, he replied telling me he was doing some survey for national health board. CUTE!

My siblings must be radical. More than that, BIG minded, hearted, spirited.

10. And i love my life. There are a lot of things to be thankful about. The joy is that i can look at my life from a bird's eye view & enjoy God. People thread around areas in my life. People being people can be overly complicated & weird. It's a good thing to be thankful about.

My spirit is larger than before and i scream inside of me so you may hear that God is good.

Your background doesn't define you.
Your future defines you.
At the end of the day, God brings your life into your own hands.
He gives you a shot at giving it a shot.
Life is unfair. It is not too bad a thing to cry about if you are less fortunate than your friends.
Life is also made fair because our future defines us.
It is the thing we ourselves, solely craft with God, with the decisions we make and the people we associate with.

Our choices will make our life and i'm thankful for choices.
Choices take you out of your background into your amazing future.

I love Jesus.

September 4, 2009
Little by little
Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 1:31 AM

Came home for rehearsal. It's been a long time since i played the drums. I sound raw, Xing said. Got to sound well done by saturday. Gonna get some practice soon.

Daily i have 1 thought, that is getting out of army.
I have been dreaming, thinking about the day i ORD. It will be brilliant, so much plans and so much things i'm gonna do.

Camp is just so "arghhh". Daily i see sly grins and grimaces. Then i get into church and there are smiles, energy, love & passion. I wished people in camp get to see what is in church. For their well being they should. hahaha... Little by little, they'll discover church.

Check this out, it's just for fun.
If you know Oasis.

I really like this one...