In the Bedroom after the War
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October 19, 2008
a description of a day Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 2:22 AM aha... on my way back to church today i made an interesting discovery about this blog that i have. okay now, firstly i'm quite sick of this entire layout and all that it represents. it's getting boring and when i have the time i'll definitely change it. it's too dark and too black and too yeah you can fill in the blanks. okay now... back to the discovery. the posts are getting super emo nowadays! oh my gosh... when i actually thought it was quite alright it was emo. argh crap. when i did think and feel it was, it wasn't. so that's about that much of a discovery i made. okay now i'm very tempted to lament about army but then aha i'll keep that to myself. i've got tons of time to read over at rocky hill and so far it's been all good. crap, when i thought my book was really christian, wondering why some of those stuff sounds alittle terrible and awkward, i realise that it's a psychology book so i pretty much read it with the wrong perspective. but nonetheless, it is 2 very good books. the year is coming to an end and just now the HS just spoke to me about year ends. i remembered reading something someone had on about year ends. i never really did remember the exact details but that impression i did. so here is comes again. and it will come around soon after. yeah well i love year ends. okay now, church was wild today with many people doing many things i'd thought hang out was good and we should have that more often but today's ordinary loose sit around was quite enjoyable too well i didn't really sit around, i saw ppl do that and it looks enjoyable to me agm was good and of course very fun ahahaha and right after that i had this superbly lengthy and elaborated talk with joanne yes it was one of those but it was very very beneficial even to myself erm... kind of like we concluded the topic and felt we could set off the gear and do all that we spoke about. so now we'll see if it works a couple of the drummers were playing around in the studio honestly, i miss that place. yeah alot like i've never missed something so much not even people sometimes. sometimes.... only when i do get a good posting, i guess i will be back so let me wait now and drool on the sidelines with many opinions and raging emotions i've got zero self control with regards to this certain area and this zero is beautiful graceful zero hmmm and what else? evelyn and i went looking for food and yes army cuts off your desire for good food i don't really care about what i consume now really after all it all really taste like food from tekong's cookhouse to me that stupid cookhouse did destroy my entire life you know... argh i cannot understand starving and desperate recruits running after expensive and delicious food. see now and understand this... there's only 5 tastes ain't it? i'm sick of all 5. i need 6th but it seem highly impossible for 6. well because whoever knows and has 6 will be a rich man in no time. everything taste either spicy or salty or sour or sweet or bitter! WHAT ELSE??? and what were the things we did? erm... ah oh... zone f service! and bugis with them! ARGH I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT... IT WAS VERY GOOD and i'm guilty of being charge for not remembering names fast enough. i've so so so so many things on my mind and i really think some are excess just too kiasu to forgo them. muaha eh... but i do still think i'm better at remembering names now. i just wished i had more time to get to know everybody. i don't know what that means to you but not being able to engage people who knows all about me feels crappy. i'd booked out and meet a bunch of amazing ppl who knew all about me without even meeting me first... well i would like to know all about them too really. so in essence, this is it... it all revolves around one posting that some nsf like me will randomly throw and click on the computer one day during a warm warm warm afternoon sleepy as he is. MY NAME BETTER WAKE HIM UP MAN AND HE BETTER KNOW HE SHOULDN'T MESS AROUND THROWING MY NAME AROUND INTO DISADVANTAGE VOCATIONS i've got the angels ready to wake him up if he's half asleep. but really it's crappy... this whole procedure of posting. i had imagine it and dreamt about it... yes this entire procedure. my 4th dimension is so choked up with this procedure and a certain look on a certain clerk's face. and now in conclusion... i think it's all good now. oh yeah! when bad is bad and bad hasn't anything too bad to complain about i'll call it good it's all good right now. but seriously, yeah very good. i just had this and that done, that and there other settled, this one and that one over, those and these all flushed away. it really do feels very good. army has changed me... at least i think. maybe not to others to you to whoever. but to me i think it has changed me. or maybe i keep saying that i change me to be changed by what i say army changed me alamak... crap luh whatever it is... i have tons to say but very little ability to express it all to you. i look at my previous posts and i'm quite amazed i could describe some pretty crazy stuff but now (: hmmmm... when i have to i think i'll be able to. but off that now... i wonder how all of you guys are... how are you? how was your day and how are you bringing your year to a close? i could hear you rattle off reading this seriously. i could feel and hear you wherever you are. well it's all fantasy and all for the sake of the sake. ahaha... argh crap. evolution... evolution...... army just destroyed me or make me evolve into some sort of a creature. eeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkk.... gdnight now (: you know i'm kidding just a thought, the only thing God sees in us is Jesus Christ. So that shows how unworthy and in a way empty we are. that is all HE SEES man... it is really quite blessedly and amazingly disappointing it is so so so amazing if you understand this just like the army days, we're kind of like all recruits regardless of what background you come from argh just figure that out gdnight and gdbye October 10, 2008 hehe resurrection Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 10:13 PM i hope this attempt is good; i hope it resurrects this thing honestly it will stay dead for long blog hibernates... don't you know things happen and you can't blog altogether... ahaha i've got my miracle and praise God for that. it's been 1 very cool week. to cut the long story shot, it has been amazing. very satisfying indeed and filled with hope. now i understand what hope is... hope is good erm... God had opened doors in camp for me and i've not really exhausted them yet call it coincidence but i call it God it'll never be so cool i'm not even half way down the path way yet and the miracle is here. God is amazing. thinking having faith dreaming speaking words they are 4 amazing elements that allows us to change our 4th dimensional realm once that realm is changed, the 3rd dimension will change too it is amazing and it is cool i've been doing that for 1 week and it works more than working it is the way it is supposed to be i miss you guy but i guys i will start seeing you guys very often. and you see me alot too. i thank God for army because it straighten out alot of things in my mind though it's terrible but it is very rewarding to have all out clear as a flow chart on a paper at the end of the day i feel like a huge burden is removed from my mind there is liberty in all i do and i feel it oozing out of me i love it now meeting different people has been a thing in army it has been great learning to deal with diverse personalities i failed v terribly but then it's quite fun though i've got to grow as a leader now f2 is hitting 100 already and it is very amazing. b zone is growing too and so too very amazing. let's hit 300 400 soon. i guess bigness isn't really that big a thing after all someday someone will achieve that so it'll be amongst us it's either you or me but whoever that is, glory to God because He builds the church have you ever felt like you've had enough? it's a saddening feeling. plus you mixed it with a half hearted response to God's word. you will cry... things i've learnt - just follow God and be very hard on oneself it is very tough but it is very good. i would have lost you already but just know that being tough on yourself is good all i ever care now is a whole lot of difference all i ever want now is a whole lot of difference too and it is beautiful to be this way; walking in His ways, loving Him and obeying Him it's good to be regimental with one's spirit sometimes. i think it's very good all should go through army or something attempted done and dusted let's move on now (: we're going to breakthrough
October 1, 2008 Love Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 12:17 PM in about a few hours time i will return to camp... for the last 3 days i've been pampered and taken care off well i've moved from hell to heaven in a matter of hours i had luxurious comfort and loads of fun but now i'm returning to what i'm appointed to do i guess it will be the way it is for the longest time; taking me out and then plunging me in again God is working in my heart of hearts and it has been wonderful 2 weeks and my eyes were opened to many things unseen and unknown to me being in hoGc it's like tearing down an old building and refurnishing it the things i used to treasure so much ain't really that important now they're no longer the jewel of my eyes & it's very weird i tried to force myself to get connected to them again but then it was all forced it's over now (: well the things that i so easily missed out are now so important to me ain't it so powerful that God changes us so quickly and works in our hearts? alright now... i really can't wait for the weekend and my first service (: i missed Benny doing lights... i missed alot of great stuff going on (: if there was one thing God was teaching me over this time, it was love. it was contentment and it was compassion. i have plenty to say to many people... jordan, nicholas, wayne, jomain, cheryl... joanne... dilan... benny samantha, jianming.... chew... sinfei........ my buddies... xing, ernie and all there's too much to say... whatever it is... be strong and of good courage (: and i really need to change my attitude in camp! muahahaha i love my sergeants... help me as i help myself
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