In the Bedroom after the War
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September 29, 2008
i'm home... Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 12:46 AM it is good to be back & being able to see all of you first thing being back. it makes a whole lot of difference to me. i feel today like a fish in water. 2 weeks have passed and things have been really happening in church; i had a great meeting to find out. i finally got to be back in a place i call home and i don't know what that means to you. my platoon friends asked me a whole lot of times where i'm heading to after book out. well, they'll never understand where home is church and church is home. i finally got to meet Pastors after 2 weeks. it is just 2 weeks out of eternity but it felt like forever. i made alot of friends away from home. i've got myself 3 very close buddies whom we do everything together. we're quite bad too and got into some trouble. being away from home, inevitable you miss it alot. week 1 was quite easy to get by but when week 2 came along i felt my soul unrest. i have alot of time to read and i feel very close to God off home. sometimes He seem to me that He's right there beside me. friends at home mean a whole lot too. i really appreciate all of you guys who have been doing all that you've did and am doing. all this countdown thing, all those smses and those listening and encouragement. a whole lot of you have your own lives to run but it's very sweet to always switch on my phone and see your name appear. you don't know how much that means... it was quite an experience and it'd meant alot. thanks for all you've done (: and really... the reception over there is bad. i don't know what got to you and what didn't get to me. but whatever it is, thanks... the key battle was all internal. there's too much thrown at you and too much you've left behind. i can't explain it to you but it makes you new. i feel that my 2 weeks opened up my eyes to many things around me. i asked my platoon friends if they understand what it means to miss someone, something or some place dearly. i don't blame them for not knowing because there ain't anything worth missing. well for me, i'm the luckiest person around. i have everything to miss & i could die missing the things i left behind. i remember clearly this is just the beginning; a new beginning. beginnings are fresh and new and different. maybe this is a new paradigm. a shift maybe. this is my new beginning and i tell you i have everything to miss about my end last term. i remember too one night i couldn't really sleep because i was missing alot. i remember too one afternoon i couldn't walk off because i was frustrated missing alot. but it is all good now... i'm back to the place i belong with the people that i belong to. it means alot being able to wave and just smile as all of you walk passed. away from home, you're skin and bones. quite bear... needing alot of talk, love and attention... i never once thought i needed so much of that until they took me away... it feels like they robbed my entire being but then it feels like i've fallen into a conman's job... i can't explain it to you but i'm glad i'm home home sweet home September 15, 2008 My Leadership Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 12:19 AM hahhs i am down to my last. i'm going to be gone for 2 to 2.5 weeks but i'm not really going to be away. you will feel me around and you will hear my voice haunting you. i've got the YA, integration list & calendar with me in army and it will be amazing. i'll just not be there physically. my zone will grow my cg will grow over army we'll hit 300 together i just hope that i'll not get into trouble at night for doing my own things how to sleep at 10pm? dumb... this is a new beginning. not and end. it is going to be very fun. honestly, i feel very empty on the inside. as if someone robbed me. i feel suppressed and compressed and whatever pressed. and i cannot wait for the chains to break loose and get out after a few weeks. the Word says nothing can separate us from the love of God. it shall be tested and it shall be true. 9 hours left. some dread it. some are going to die because of it. i think i'll be different. i want to enjoy it and smile my 9 hours. i'm going to have fun. i'll listen to praise songs and thank God. i'll do that... i am going to attack, lead and make it all work out. yeah i do feel very down but who cares about how i feel? life needs to go on... i'm missing a whole lot of people already. thanks for all that encouragement you guys sent me. it's been very sweet. i commit my zones into Your Hands God. there will be supernatural happenings. there will be precision in all that we do now. there will be a godly connection amongst each other. there will be a relationship. the anointing will still flow from the top. people will rise up not in pride but in humility. Your Heart will always be reflected to the people at the ground!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there will be romance, spice, oil and every nice... i'll not be physically around but i know You have it all there. You'll increase and i will decrease. leaders with the same heart will arise same value system same motivation it will be pure, holy and of God i have dominion over the spiritual things concerning my zone... i have i have i have (: Your Word says and i stand on that H.E. Zanela Makina says leadership is collective. my leadership is not my skills but my team of people. my leadership will increase and grow (: i have faith it shall be all i say it shall be my leadership is influential they are great they are committed they are radical they are revelational they are mobilizable they are an army waiting fighting with my Pastors they are one with Charleston & Pastors they are one with Dominic they are sons and daughters in the House (: it shall be all that i say it shall be i'll miss you guys but i have to go now gdnight and gdbye (: September 14, 2008 a new beginning Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 2:21 AM just 3 things at this time people sleep and wake up: 1) Zone F Service was SPECIAL today It impacted me to my core. Seeing those people coming up was like seeing the army positioned for battle. It's a lot more special but well, that's it (: whoever was there would agree it was very powerful. you could feel the anointing and power of God so strongly. it was significant. it was like caleb and joshua. "give me this generation!" "give me this mountain!" 2) Service with H.E Zanele Makina was revelational It had impressed on me a new dimension about leadership. God spoke very clearly and it was awesome. Leadership takes a whole new meaning to it. It's humility and it's a lot more than just humility. the high ambassador have to come back! 3) Discipleship Class Well it was very fun talking to all and everyone. I've a whole excel file of questions now and i'm excited to answer them. I just know it'll do a whole lot of difference to the leadership in a whole if we answer all of them. It'll be good. I'm amazed at the quality at the ground. It's very good. The questions asked are very good. Very practical, very thought through and loads to do with value system too. well that's that... I'd wish i had a lot more time to spend with a lot more people. it has been a very good week with God speaking a lot and all. this is a new beginning my decisions now make hell lot of a ripple in my life now gdnight for now. enjoy the midnight September 13, 2008 Aaaaaa... Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 3:00 AM i've had a really fast week. this has been the fastest week ever. for the first time i dread ending the day and going to bed! and this is a good thing i tell you... i spent monday with Pastors and it was amazing (: it was the best day this 7. tuesday was an entire day clearing my emails. it's very interesting, the more you clear, the more it piles. I reply once, and 3 other people reply me back. so in the end i didn't clear my emails in that sense. the net is balance. wednesday was fun too because i visited my grandparents. they're very amazing. i had pork rib soup and it was grandma's specialty. after that i went home and had an early night. i had CEG too and it was good. thursday was fun too. i spent the morning and afternoon clearing my emails too. I had a great great F2 CEG. It was amazing (: later that night, i was at Seafood Harvest with a couple of people from B Zone and we had fun! friday was nice. i went to visit my grandparents again and this time just me alone. my uncle scolded me because i can't meet him on saturday. well what to do (: let me continue to make history and make it up to him another time. i then spent that whole afternoon with f zone! Chunkit was there, Wayne, Jiaxin and a lot a lot more. I remember the people, yes all of them but it was very special today with Chun Kit and Jiaxin around. I was thinking of F Zone a lot and just grateful that we've ground so much. These 2 were there from the beginning so that was why (: there is something special. i pray everyone in zone f, male and female becomes like them. The male leaders, members, whatever become like Chunkit and likewise for the females like Jiaxin. It will be great (: i just got home from newton circus. before that i was playing soccer with lionel and company. it was a lot of fun but i couldn't run. the buffet took it's toil and it ain't gonna give in. well but it was still fun. food at newton was good too but just that i wanted to do something more after that! you'll know why... many people have been telling me that every second counts days before you enlist. yeah, i agree now. not back then but yes now. every second is precious. i wanted more time with everybody luh! but then there was nothing we could do too (: saturday and sunday will be alot different. ernest is coming on saturday to my place and sunday i'm going to charleston's house. it'll be good. there's a lot of things i want to do man (: NS stands for the Next Step i'm going to take. many people think that we're 'sian' about the training. hahaha no... we're in a place where we wrestle God. we want to serve Him some more but He has plans for us through NS. it's a guy thing... My greatest honor will always be, to serve my Lord and King. It is 2 more days. And just by living 2 more days, i've learnt so much about people, gratitude, the meaning of serving God and honor at a deeper level. i've seen people and all their hearts are and it's sweet. just now on the bus, i met a schoolmate. he's a junior and one that was close. not many were close but he was. he couldn't stop talking and me too. i remember myself taking care of him last time. he's into music too and that is good. i just want him to get to know God (: that will work out. So yeah... it's not the end. It's the beginning... a new beginning. this season comes to a close now (: i'm missing my zone already. i miss f zone. i miss b zone. i miss my Pastors... i miss kinda like everything and everybody. i don't know how to go on blogging (: i'll describe 'this' a little clearer to you hopefully before monday. gdnight and gdbye (: you mean a whole lot to God. September 9, 2008 GROWTH IS DESIRE... BURNING DESIRE Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 11:57 AM Faith is an amazing thing to have. I've been reading about faith and i'm deeply intrigued by what Pst Phil says about it. This is not the first time i'm reading the book. In fact 2nd or 3rd but it's a whole different book with a whole different perspective and new revelations. It is very amazing; christian books are just great. So feed yourself with the Word of God and good books and grow. Self leadership! Faith is Desire. In football, famous Titan coach Bill Yoast says, 'Defend is Desire'. 'Jump on that ball like a starving man on a Christmas ham' Faith is Desire. It's just so powerful. God really does care about our desires. Our desires mean something to God. Our desires are the beginning of a spiral upwards in faith. No desire, don't expect faith. People say 'whatever will be will be' or 'i want to do anything!' or 'anything is okay, i just want to walk in the will of God' Walking in the Will of God is 90% Common Sense Pst Phil says. You need to have desire. You need to know what you want. I've listed down 5 top things i want to see coming to past in my life. They will come to past as long as i first start to desire. Pst Phil says desire and decide. When we decide, we effectively open up some doors and inevitably close some. We direct ourselves with our plans according to our desires. God then will start directing our ways because we first planned. FAITH IS DESIRE. BURNING DESIRE. It is the same feeling charging into an opponent and seeing him beaten. It is the same feeling of jumping unto an opponent and scoring a lay up. It is the same feeling of sidestepping a defender and leaving him dead with a sting shot. FAITH IS BURNING DESIRE. Some of us feel guilty with desire. Well ambition is different from desire. ambition is self. desire is of God Just remember that without Desire, it is hard to have faith. You'll have positive thinking not faith. faith is from the inside. positive thinking is a result of faith on the inside. WHAT IS YOUR DESIRE??? Anyway F2 CEG is amazing (: We hit 100 last week!!!!!! 99 Actual 100 Adjusted! Growth is Desire (: F2 peeps 100 is still too small! We're just as big as B zone! B Zone is too small! You 2 should have a good competition going on (:
September 6, 2008 the bass rattles a sensation over my chest Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 2:01 AM nicholas tan is at my house and i tell you i haven't talked so much during the night for a long time (: he's a guy you want on your team vibrant, very simple & very funny he's here for 2 nights and we're going to have a good time tomorrow some others join us so it'll be more cool i am really sleepy slept kinda quite little over the last 3 days but i am a happy man o school was in the house tonight and it was really cool i love shows like this & it's really refreshing for me i got to meet one of my schoolmates he was down with his crew but they didn't win haiyar... b-boy tosh is his name God has been really amazing Faith is a feeling A confidence around the chest A fight in the stomach Faith is a muscle It gets more definite and powerful the more we use it God has given each of us a measure of faith It's quite cool to know that each one of us have a different measure of faith God said too that with that measure He has given us, it is enough, we are able to be conquer the world, shape society. This is the victory that has overcome the open; our faith. So in a sense, i think nothing is too difficult Smith Wigglesworth is an English plumber who got saved and did numerous miracles in his life as a minister He didn't let his lack of education limit him nor his lack in his command of language He really is one of the heroes of faith Smith Wigglesworth only reads the Bible. That is the only book he reads interestingly. The Word of God is the way to get faith. Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. The Word of God is alive to everyone and has its own designated interpretations over different people's life Faith is everything we need Faith is a muscle Faith is a measure The more we use it, the more define it gets, the more overflowing it gets. it's the only thing that doesn't get used up. the more you use it, the more it is added to you. our spirit & heart are a bank we fill it with little, it returns little we fill it with much, it returns much we should exercise more faith so that we reap more faith faith is unique that is why it is faith the most important promise of God the currency of heaven the trigger of God the most illogical The just shall live by faith well it's a command gdnight & gdbye September 5, 2008 i'm in love with my life Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 2:28 AM it's a wild day 930am i was in church meeting all the zone f core people & i had a great time their voices resound in my mind up till now we had a great time together and i can't wait for next weekend to meet them again i took a short nap after that and played some games heart festival later was a blast & everyone was high on fun they were drugged out by excitement and you could see it on their faces human foosball was fun i've got ideas for next year's heart festival already (: let's wait until then... well everything about heart festival was very good an hour after heart festival i had b zone event we had word challenge and it too was a blast Charleston was very happy with it and so am i it was just all good and an all good day this sunday i can't wait to put alot of things in place before i go november and december will be brilliant as far as i know it's a wild night. we've been out of church since 1030pm and we just reached church we went for supper, hung out and then played lan as a zone. imagine all of us playing CS it was noisy it was fun it was everything very nice i love my life & i think i have the best life on planet earth (: i have God i have great people nurturing me i have a zone on fire i have a great family i have options i have many things i love my life i love it the way it is and i love it the way it will and can be i just love my life i look at the not so good things in my life and it makes me wonder that this is the way it's supposed to be; beautiful without some problems life isn't that beautiful it can't be so perfect and that is the beauty about life especially mine (: i love it gdnight now
September 4, 2008 Born and Bred; True Blue Son Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 1:17 AM aww gosh my wrist irritates me i just crashed my napfa again today man. but it's really okay (: pull ups disqualified... 15th September is so soon. In fact it's 2 mondays from now. but nvm! God has His plans. alright let me spend my 1.5 weeks well Jian Ming was telling me that we've grown up. I mean yeah, i guess so... long gone are the days where we are in Northbrooks just cracking our jokes and stuff. This is kinda like a cool fact. I never really saw it this way. We're all very different now In a few years we'll be doing a whole set of different things and by then he'll say we've grown OLD I, in fact we, met Marcus today and we had a great time together. Yeah no doubt, great time always :p Yet again i find myself on the cycle and its very satisfying to know that i am still circulating that cycle. It is good to have people like Marcus. I had my others but yeah its good to have Marcus Prophet Marcus he calls himself. In 11 hours time we're going to have Heart Fest. I just got a good piece of news from Jian Ming about the whole event. It is going to be good. Weiling made me really excited about Word Challenge and stayover with B Zone tomorrow too. I can't help it but start missing a lot of people. I'm feeling the Army guy symptom of explosive smses! Yeah bill will blast but who cares man I'm so going to miss office & Pastors. Rinnah too. my zone my friends alright man... that's it... its enough (: i feel a little bit just cut a drift time but it's alright. i guess it's normal. i've left not left the house of God Heart of God church born and bred! I'm going to miss Your House. soccer in the rain is taking its toil on me. i'm dying and i have plenty to do. gdnight for now September 2, 2008 not dead yet Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 11:47 PM it has been a very busy weekend with so many things happening and so many things i want to see and get happening in the upcoming weeks Zone F service was powerful. As a zone f leader, there is nothing more satisfying than to see your Pastor coming to your zone and preach and build it. It is such a privilege and i say it again and again to be included in going back to the younger generations and building it up. Service with Pastor Tan was amazing. Yeah i had the Dvd; He gave it to me (: I'm excited to listen to it. In fact i have Build to Last too and it's great stuff in there too. I went to read John as he said and it was very powerful. God spoke and it was refreshing. Monday was rehearsal. In fact it felt like i just had my rehearsal this afternoon but no it was yesterday. This 2 days felt like 2 in 1 long day. Rehearsal was very challenging and i really need to breakthrough in my drumming some more. Me and Dom went for dinner after that at White Sands since Elevate wasn't going to eat anytime soon. We had dumpling noodles which was great. The chili was better. Had Ben and Jerries icecream and cabbed to Ferry Point Chalet. Jian Ming told us some spooky story about that chalet but it's all not true. I'll have videos to show you about what we did over at the chalet it's exciting i promise. We had a great night w Dominic preaching and i'm surprised my guitar skills hasn't left me yet. We had a great time eating and slamming people around too after that. Jian Ming was awesome while the rest of the zone f guys couldn't bring him down. It was like throwing themselves to die I knocked out early. So did Dom. I woke up at 715am and said 'see you' to Dom as he went to school and continued sleeping. After that, those guys went for lunch while i travel to Vivo to meet Pastors I was there earlier and i read my Bible and God began to speak to me for that 2 hrs Vivo was good and i totally loved my day with my Pastors. Especially i only have 2 weeks left. In fact i just got home! We did cool stuff and Pastor How as such an inspiration working on his own. Awesome. I love my spiritual family. My Pastors mean so much to me. It has been a power pack weekend all because of their words. Awesome. Awesome. won't tell you more already :p Gdnight and Gdbye!
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