In the Bedroom after the War

March 26, 2008
you've done that and so much more
Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 1:59 AM

this is attempt number 1 dated and timed whatever and whatever

i am doing this for the sake of doing this

i don't feel a bit about this entry but i am just going to do this (:

hahhs it's been funny recently, i don't feel like blogging at all! argh crap... i said it

i will when i want to but that besides the point

we were all very much looking forward to tuesday 3pm

we were like little children over excited about soccer. i haven't touched a ball in 2 to 3 weeks now and today feeling it was good for me, at least it triggers my health up beat.

i did have a good exercise honestly but more than that i had so much fun

we're becoming better at it as a team, we did what we could never do and it all looked beautiful from few metres out the cage.

well, today was alot of rockets and dipping, blazing shots. Everyone was blasting everything at the goal and whoever got in the way suffered a smacking sensation all too well to remember.

it was really funny today.

okay... we got back to church and it was quite awkward seeing a few people around

it was far too big for just a few people and every move they made was amplified and noticeable

the huge space was deafening and there wasn't very much of a hang out today

i hope tomorrow gets better because i am surely going to hang out!

it was quite satisfying having to practice drums for a long time today

it was really undisturbed and interrupted silence and peace

it was good for me (:

well this is not very much of a topic to talk about because not all of us identify with it and know what it's all about... we'll not talk about this for some time

we had an eleventh hour dinner before the eatery closes.

4 dishes and plenty of rice after which stole away my sharpness and clouded my mind

i was sleepy and i just had to have my IPod on to congregate that cloudiness even more because it will facilitate my sleep.

but then, funny things happen... like after a soft instrument, a crap rock song plays.

then you jump up from your comfortable position into what i called just--awake-reality

argh crap i'm not home yet!

argh crap stupid song!

argh crap the cushion it not comfortable!

hahhs and i had it all over and over again

hahhs i am sick and i'll get better tomorrow

that feeling totally robbed my pleasant instrumental piece sensation

alright, i'm playing and replaying that same song that put me to sleep in the car just now

just that now it had a reverse effect i don't seem like i'm going to sleep

but yet again, i think if i usher myself to, somehow i will

i've been good and very happy

i deserve some good sleep tonight

when you thought you have done what you dreamt in your conscious of doing to a particular person

though realistically you haven't i do think that somehow you've done

well i think they feel it happening in some funny human sensitivity dimension

when you thought you've done that, you actually did much more

well good and bad

the good being that those people around you are sane, spiritual and mature with depth

the not so good being that those people susceptibly think too much

the bad being they are totally not grained to this

have you ever thought something to happen... yeah, you think it and crafted it to happen in your mind

well those are your most personal of all thoughts... all the best to you for those endeavors.

most of the time, they are either fantasy or... i don't know?

well when you do see the real medium, like that person or situation you can't shun that embarrassment, laughter or whatever feeling you get out of the nature of that fantasy

don't you think that people somehow know all these things going through your mind?

especially that few people you do think about in those private thoughts?

when you meet them, you can't help it, it comes through vividly in your memory

hahhs... i do have this and i think it's normal.

well i think we've all as a 2nd person thought too much when such a thing happens to us.

not us developing them, but when people develop us in their minds.

i really think we think too much sometimes.

hahhs i really really do eh!

now there is no normal speech and dialogue. proper smiles and actions.

realness is arrested and what we have here is quite a boo-boo thing.

this is just what i feel sometimes.

i hope people can return the favor and be real and normal sometimes (: