In the Bedroom after the War
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March 3, 2008
very interesting 10am meeting with my doctor Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 12:31 PM i had an hour long medical appointment at Mt E just now and it was quite an experience for me. the doctor and i started talking and we were way off the check up. he's a sai baba devotee and he's in for really long. he shared with me about his family, late wife, children and his philosophies. it was quite interesting... and he wrote a book. he gave one to me and it was only my first visit. so i just a read a little bit on my way home, about his life, about his beliefs... he wrote this whole section about 'WHO AM I?' it's an essay talking about his very self proclaimed unworthy lecture on who we are as humans. hahhs. it's quite interesting to know stuff like that. Sai Baba is quite a smart guy afterall but he remains a smart guy. on the doctor's pilgrimage he actually saw many things Sai did that busted human understanding. i don't know what stuff but yeah it's what it's said there in the book. then i'm thinking, who can't float objects with their mind and all??? it's quite normal now adays... and we won't talk about that! today, as i travel Pst Joakim's words kept ringing in my head. "Pastor Ulf is one of the most curious man i've known" "We'll be at a restaurant and he'll be asking what bread this and that is..." That's all i remembered and it's enough to alter my axis as a person. back to that doctor and his sai baba beliefs... as i read the book, i realized it was just so one dimensional and one plane. it was another argument, another 'i have the big picture' and i need my facts to support my point. in the end, it sounded so real but then, it's just a man's thoughts and ideas. i'm in no position to say anything man but that's just what i think. it's his prerogative. he has all means to write a book so he wins (: he by basic training is a scientist so yeah you get the picture. the text said something quite interested. bohm (scientist) said that there is a worldness that everything we see and touch now comes from. he refers to it as the 'that-which-is'. quite smart ah this guy, make it sound so profound with 3 simple words... haiyar, these scientists ah, cheat our feelings one. he says 'that-which-is' is a Godhead that life comes from. then he said the next 'sian' thing, that this Godhead is I. Not my psychological self. Not my emotional or intellectual self. But the understanding of this SELF which they call Nirvana. i think humans still are confused people and that includes me! i think i'm more confused. hahhs i don't agree with what they say, but when everything seem to be going in some direction they twig it all back to some plain crazy argument at Godhead is SELF. If i am God then i won't be here. If i am God won't it mean that all forms of life, materials, came out of me? Partially true but that's not totally true... so not true. We created science.. the study of material things. But then if Godhead is SELF then who created this 'Godhead' of SELF? He also said everything came into place by the explosion of this primordial atom. i don't understand also la.... primitive something la. long before time. big bang stuff i don't know much also. let's not get too deep into this.... just quite disgusted... everyone ends up putting up a political correct solution, 'world peace' ideology. the book says - respect all religions and follow them, don't switch from one to another. just know that religion teaches us all to do good. have peace, love... serve all man. don't have war. We also know right? so the most 'i don't have a stand' people are seen as holy and godlike now. if you are neutral, you are wise and you are divine. wah piang eh... like that also can??? at the end of the day, it's just a confusion. you never fully grasp all this things, it just confuses you. that confusion becomes your conclusion that whatever this is is real. under the influence of demons. oopps. But hor, nevertheless, i like the Doctor. he treats me really well and that's good man. hahhs... i had a great week and another great one ahead.i hope things are good for you too (: f zone and b zone chalet up soon man... it's going to be so so fun i'll make them watch war movies in the night! hahhs and i want to watch the LOTR Trilogy i'll find a way to get it i find myself loving the thing i do even more. i love these people i love you and we're all going to be people running with our Pastors. Same heart, same vision, same essence. this i pray hard, that we be known not as a big cg or zone, or any other thing but one that runs with our Pastors in the spirit. one that loves our Pastors. the most! people who are awestruck by our Pastors! while we build, while we grow up, the love affair remains sons are similar in essence, in mind, in heart, in soul.. and argh let's be sons and daughters in the faith (: i love and trust my Pastors like no one else. it's insane not to. at least to me... who do i turn to except them? I love them and more than this church, I want to serve them my entire life. I Love You! My Pastors, My Heroes
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