In the Bedroom after the War
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February 7, 2008
try missing out on the point Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 3:00 AM sup everybody... i had a great day. it's 3am now and i just ended my own private movie screening here at my place. just me, my bro and lixing. we watched 'We Were Soldiers'. oh crap... it's one of the best shows i've watched ever. la drang, the valley of death in vietnam. 13th Nov and for 3 days the american soldiers fought there. they were surrounded, very surrounded. i thought they had lost the war man. in the face of death, american colonel moore just led the troops and made on last charge. it was their twist of fate. it was crazy man. plenty of quotes inspired me. plenty of scenes did too. it was beautiful man... a colored guy got shot, and this other white guy remembered what his general told him that no one would be left behind... he went back and picked his colored friend up. he died trying to save his friend. and this was the same guy, who before the war spent 1 year with his wife in south africa running and building an orphanage. before he went to the battlefield he said something like "God has a plan for my life. I want to help orphans. Not make any..." Awww... he did die, and he did make orphans. but it was beautiful... and yeah right, colonel moore was first on the battlefield and last to leave. " I can't promise you that I will bring you all home alive. But this I swear, before you and before Almighty God, that when we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead or alive, we will all come home together. So help me, God." i tell you, i'll fight for a colonel like that. this he said to jack's wife. (guy who picked up his colored friend and died) "Dear Barbra, I have no words to express to you my sadness at the loss of Jack. The world is a lesser place without him. But I know he is with God and the angels and I know even Heaven is improved by his presence there. I know you too are sure of this and yet this knowledge can't diminish his loss and your grief. With abiding respect and affection, Hal Moore. " argh... before he led his men to war. he prayed and he prayed. "Our Father in Heaven, before we go into battle, every soldier among us will approach you each in his own way. Our enemies too, according to their own understanding, will ask for protection and for victory. And so, we bow before your infinite wisdom. We offer our prayers as best we can. I pray you watch over the young Jack Geoghegan. That I lead into battle. You use me as your instrument in this awful hell of war to watch over them. Especially if they're men like this one beside me, deserving of a future in your blessing and goodwill. Amen." really, i'll fight for a colonel like that. sometimes it's quite beyond what we fight for. it becomes who we fight with. many people haven't even got the first thing right and that's why they'll never enjoy running their christian walk with the people around them. i don't know... i really don't. i think it's beyond love, beyond presence of God, beyond all these simple enjoyment and consumer products i call them. there has to be depth and conviction and i prayed so hard that everyone has this 2 things. not just the presence of God, holy spirit and happy church. got to have a revelation of the Cross, of the love of God, of the Father's heart, of what He actually did for all of us on the Cross. After a while, the Cross' story becomes a scam because of its repetition. but we have to open our eyes so wide now. The Cross is THE CROSS! it's not what you just simply turn away from... simply give up and adopt a new way of life. not something so cheap as to suddenly calculate your costs and feel like a farmer not getting anything out of his field. argh.. it's just more than what people think this whole thing is about. if it's so simple as the presence of God and the holy spirit... i tell you, then we've missed the whole point. i'll go to the extend to say, i don't even think i'll be here. there's so much more... and to let go is cheap... to let go shows that you've not understood what you've got yourself into. you never really figured out what kind of a God you worship. just angry and also happy with and for people... today i was just chatting with lixing and we went through a list of names that were with us for sometime but since jolted out of the race. crap, one actually knew too much... what i call politik... sometimes ppl know too well what we'll do. i'm sure ppl know very well what i'll do when this and that happens. well, that's playing a game if they do think that way. but for me, i'm in no games... i actually know this person, totally secluded after deciding not to carry on. every changed and there's not a way to her. it was like a change of identity. it was plastic.. it was fake... it was horrible... it was bad right next, i kind of anticipated it. i kept hearing what this person did and blah blah blah crap... very much a 180 degree person from the one i knew so yeah ppl miss the point. and they do miss it big time. so i think before we really think of anything else.. we got to have some depth and some convictions in place. i believe in.... i believe in so and so... i believe in what.... i believe that like i've said so many times, someday we all have to fill in our blanks. i hoped someone else could convenient do my convictions for me but i guess that's very impossible. Depth & Conviction... we can never live life being quite so volatile. Pst Simon Mcintyre says,"there's only one church". yeah! there's only one church. one destiny. one relationship with God. and i don't quite intend to let anything break this up. depth and conviction speaks a little bit of loyalty sometimes (: down and out? up and running? whatever... you'll still here... be still here... always still here... well i guess the beginnings of leadership is the beginnings of bigness. smallness will separate, quite visibly. it just a season we're entering into.... it's a cutting down so that we grow more. it's a separation so that we grow more. many many tests... many many hurdles. we just have to say "i'm still here... i'm still here.." "permission to recover to the frontline colonel" (: Hahhs. i love it... Carry me to the shoreline Bury me in the sand Walk me across the water And maybe you'll understand Once the stone You're crawling under Is lifted off your shoulders Once the cloud that's raining Over your head disappears The noise that you'll hear Is the crashing down of hollow years it's quite time to let hollow years go. we'd better get some substance (:
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