In the Bedroom after the War
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February 8, 2008
social dyn or a couple of messed up humans errors Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 12:55 PM yesterday was kinda fun this year's cny, i did mininal visitation, touched minimal oranges and received quite mininal red packets. it's a diff year... a rat year with many things just coming and flying pass just at the blink of an eye.while the good thing is that in the midst of some real crap, i get perspective (: and i seriously think, or stubbornly suppose and remain the way i am, that in the midst of shaking hands and all that you do to show your respect, fillial piety, honor, whatever... deep down i think some people don't really care. someone whom i don't remember seeing me grow up... maybe just the features i did but then the inside and spirit, the airwaves i received from them kind of toppled me over man. people can be quite irritating sometimes provided they do some crap like this. i want to be just like him (: moving on, i caught kungfu dunk... hahhs i enjoyed the movie and it was real huge a group of ppl that came... what like 33 so it was hard but then it was cool... sometimes such stuff's quite cool ain't it.then we went walking the streets... and ended up jumping around at taka and finally ktv. repulsive, sweet, lovely and every vocab possible i could search and identify one incident for you. because i thought i thought and i thought and i guess i really slept at 8am plus. humans being humans, they do identify between right or wrong. but then there's the no right no wrong that i picked up last night (: just seeing ppl respond to those stuff hugely surprise me.is to be very accountable to one or a few ppl. in my case, i have 3 and sometimes 4. you do something and you feel bad... moments later, you think it's okay. justification... yucks... deception i suppose.i quite hard complications.. i really do. i'm born alot more inclined to feel than many ppl... alot more inclined to think, ponder..okay, i can't save myself now... yeah a lot more complicated but than it's been all nurtured now. i know my boundaries and as far as i'm concern, each time i will turn and run a mile back if i find my mind justifying what i've done. i just really want to say... stay simple get a gripget a safety net in the form of accountability hahhs... messed up my sleep. but i guess it's worth it huh....social dynamics? crap sometimes ppl actually don't intend what you think they intend and try to put across to you.i figured not so much ppl use so much brains when they are around each other. they kind of be themselves.so maybe we all just think too much.... and honestly i think we can really think too much. sometimes, fall into communicative dysfunction. haiz... (: i'll only try to comprehend God's beautiful creation even more (: i'll only love them more each time.at the end of the day, or rather my start... you know, i laid down on my bed... thinking... then i found myself summoning hope. and for a moment, the hs caught me and said.... hope for? and hope in what? you just want the feeling of hope and assurance... and you craft it yourself but saying a few words, closing your eyes and holding your hands together. hahhs. problem solve? solution given? hahhs what crap hah.... hah.... hah....it disturbs me to see people the way they are sometimes... justifying and falling into deception because of self then i realize... God is God and i'm not... i'm man. i can only see a part of the picture He's painting.
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