In the Bedroom after the War
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February 11, 2008
never had someone wrote something that messed me up so much Ivan 'Vern' Poh from URL @ 6:32 PM today i read 3 books. i slept alot too. i was reading and i knew somehow today i'll get something out of all i read. it was a beautiful crescendo of revelation. after book 3 i felt i run right into God's arms. it was a night a planning; last night i'd geared myself up, stiffened my wings, erase the wry off my countenance i could remember how i fell asleep quite vividly. on the ground, hugging, twirling and adjusting my blanket over and over again. i was playing hide and seek, with the air around me. it was quite fun, in the darkness of the night, to try to flip every side of the blanket around and make sure i'm secluded around the constraints of my tiny bed. i looked like an overgrown little boy on a little boy's bed. And i know i've seen myself somewhere... as if through the eyes of an angel by the corner of the room. i kind of know how i look when doing what i do. it's funny... long before, i fell asleep. and i could feel the delicate creatures come closer around me just to be sure i was sound in sleep. i woke up this morning, and i peeped through the little hole my blanket and pillow formed. i saw Elgin and that we was getting ready to leave. it was just a few seconds later, i felt as if a hand threw me back unto the bed. hahaha and i dreamt a funny dream (: you'll laugh hearing it but it's fun. i jumped right out of my bed... i reached for my phone, confirmed every meeting possible. took out my piece of paper and did whatever it told me to do. the paper was lord for a moment because i gave it power with ink. so i read and i read in my solitary company and the 3rd Book had been the most amazing (: "O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me," Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God! Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men. For they speak against You wickedly; Your enemies take Your name in vain. Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." - David goodness, my eyes are set on the Big Man. man, you do know my every thought don't You??? i had wrestle my dad unto the bed in teasing fun before and when i come to You, i will do the same. embarassing man... You comprehend me! You know my thoughts from afar! You know my frame in secret! The worse thing is that, You know me touched and broken... Then You know me energized and ready to conquer.... You know what motivates me.... You know my softness then a second later my aroused anger.... You know me logical and You know me unconditional... Awwwww... to another being, it'll be so embarassing... but well... this is my utmost embarassment with You and i'm proud about it (: And this is everything i love about You my God. You are just wonderful to me. I'd just needed this monday (: Yeah... like what David said in this beautiful Psalm 139 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. it is high... i cannot attain it (: i'm so flattered this is how much You love me I love You I love you too GOD LOVES YOU 'PSALM 139' MUCH
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